He stumbles in the stairs again! Wasn’t something unusual, he thought! “Accidents keeps happening to me so what is new” – he murmured.  But today was something different, he was going to do something new; something he thought he would never do.

Memories flashed back into his mind; the days in school, coming first in the class every year, hearing the greatest words of appreciation from everyone around and so much more. Building expectations among people, this resulted in the fake dream of him. He decided that he no longer wants to be a school teacher like his father which was the dream he cherished from his childhood, but he will become a software engineer as it was the castle of sands build in his mind by many people. He stopped his favorite activity, writing and indulged in activities which will sharpen his brain further. He became a person whom he could not recognize himself.  Stopped talking to his parents because they seemed so old fashioned.

His friends had already left him because they preferred to keep away from somebody they thought was arrogant and foolish; a person who will measure the torques and friction while the others simply enjoy the game with the willow. He had become someone who nobody could understand, and left alone; but for his parents, who would not interfere in his dream and silently hope he becomes their old son. 

Days passed and he really achieved what he sought for. He got admitted to the most prestigious institute in the country to fulfill his dreams. The outside world praised him like always before. Genious, wiz and so many other words kept flying as reward. Every other parent used to tell their kids to become like him, not knowing what it took away from him.

He continued to study and study! Continued to get the best student award in the college too, made fan club among the juniors. Professors started giving his example to others to persuade them study more and get better scores. Nobody could really compete with him. Three years passed and time came for the campus interviews. He got the best deal; the highest ever salary anyone had ever got from the college. Yes, he has done it again, everybody thought. Everybody thought his life is set as they saw the astonishing amount of his offered ctc and were jealous thinking that they could never achieve that.

Then the day came, today is the graduation day. Everybody appreciated him for having scored the highest in the college’s history. He has made it to the news again, thought everybody.

But he was not happy. It wasn’t new. The feeling had been driving him crazy for last two years, but he had always thought that it would end with the last day of college. The best grades, the best job offer in hand, what else he could expect. But it dint end even after the convocation ceremony. He thought it to be strange, it should have ended now, then why the same thoughts spring up in my mind! He let his mind go on a road trip down the memory lane to explore what he achieved, but ended up realizing that he is only left with his loneliness and the fulfilled dream of somebody else.

For the first time he shed tears for his parents who were admitted in the ICU after a major car accident last year and he was so busy preparing for his next day interview that he could not afford to  visit his hometown to see his parents. He remembered when after the interview date everybody came to appreciate him reading his success story cracking the interview and getting the dream job and nobody remembered the news of two souls leaving their mortal bodies in the ICU of a small town hospital after a car accident. Nobody else knew in the college when he went back to his hometown to complete the formalities. He never told anybody about his personal life because he had never talked to anybody; stupid fellows as defined by him. His relatives thought of consoling him for the great loss, but he seemed indifferent, with no sign of grief. They were further astonished when he talked about the success story to them after the cremation and not that he would miss his parents. And they decided to abandon him, as they knew he was no more a human, but something they dint know.

But today he was missing his parents, he could remember his childhood walks. hand in hand with his parents, lessons of how to talk and behave. “They made me human and I abandoned them”, he uttered in deep agony.

And he was back after the journey to the past. He suddenly realized that everything that matters till today was meaningless and what really should have mattered had ceased to exist. Why?, he thought, but found no answer. A hard bold of pain had suddenly hit him as he ascend the last stair and step on the roof of his college. He wished he could go back in time and be with his parents, change who he is now; but knew he couldn’t do it.  Not sure of what people will say and what would the headline tomorrow, he decides that he would do it. He would end the misery and free his soul from the great pain rather than continuing to feel this every day. He reaches the wall of the roof and gazes at the sky for one last time. Saying goodbye to the world he makes the jump. Moments after everything goes black, before winning he had quit the rat race. 

Author: Nilendu Maiti

Image Courtesy: Preethi Prabhu